Symptoms of students being over pampered

Most of the time we the parents, pamper our children beyond any limits, we go out of our way to do things for them, our heart literally bleeds if our child has to do some work. There are mothers who won’t allow their sons to even fletch a glass of water.

A child who is pampered (read over) in his growing up days, whose all whims and fancies are catered to, who is used to having his own way, who is made to feel special by his parents may become an adult who is an egoistic, attentions seeking and difficult to adjust with situation types.

Such children becomes adults who are mostly stubborn, attentions seekers and un cooperative.

As he/she is used to doing things his way, he/she will find it difficult to compromise and deal with various ups and downs of life and deal with various issues of life rationally.

When such a child grows up into an adult and dons the role of a parent he surely is going to pamper his children the same way as he was done and he will do all those things which he had seen during his process of blossoming into adulthood.

But the real problem occurs when there is a conflict between him (a over pampered child of past) and his over pampered child as both of them wants to have their own way.

Same is the case when he has to deal with is life partner.

If both of them have been pampered and sheltered by their respective parents then both will try to mould the other as per his/her style which in turn will lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, arguments and finally breakups.

The adult who has always been made to feel important and extra special finds it extremely difficult to take a back seat or on the receiving end of criticism as most of the parents treat their children as if the sun rises and sets with the children only and the child has never encountered any criticism.

Such children have not only face problems in their marital life, with their children but also in their other social as well as work relations.

Moral of the story pamper your children but don’t go overboard. Teach them words like adjustments, compromise and giving in. teach them that they are not right always, there are others who could be better than them.

As a parent, you want to give your kids everything their heart’s desire to make them happy, but parents who give too much, too often can spoil their children. Spoiling your children can be harmful to them, both socially and developmentally. Since children who are spoiled often do not have to learn to solve their own problems, they can lack the life skills necessary to successfully negotiate the demands of adulthood. According to research, there are lasting effects and here are some it:

Dependency: children who are spoiled can become overly dependent on their parents, which can cause them to have trouble making themselves happy as adults. Researchers Connie Dawson and David J. Bredehoft cite a study showing that college-age young adults who were spoiled as children tended to believe that being alone makes them person unhappy, and that the source of their happiness is other people, rather than themselves.

Irresponsibility: when children are spoiled, they often do not learn responsible behaviors. According to “Baton Rouge Parents Magazine,” children who are spoiled are unable to understand the concept of boundaries as adults and can develop problems such as spending, gambling, overeating and drinking. These children are sometimes unmotivated and can be described as lazy or angry. Lacking in emotional maturity and having poor problem-solving skills, these adults might flounder and become unhappy with their lives.

Disrespect and defiance: disrespect and defiance are characteristic of spoiled children who are likely to whine, beg, ignore or manipulate to get their way. Often, spoiled children are so overindulged they do not get to express themselves in ways other than through their negative behaviors. Rebellion can become a natural response in these children, who are overindulged and overprotected.

Poor relationship skills: because they have not learned that relationships involve both give and take, children who are spoiled can have trouble making and keeping meaningful friendships. Bruce J. McIntosh, M.D., writing in the journal “Pediatrics,” indicates that spoiled children can be insensitive to the needs of others, are prone to temper tantrums and have trouble deferring gratification. Because other children might not want to be around someone with these characteristics, spoiled children might become unhappy loners, who do not even like being by themselves.

These are reasons why you should enroll your kids in public schools provide students with an opportunity to interact with people from different backgrounds and learn from that. Private school students mainly come form upper class families and are limited to what they are exposed to. When private school students move onto a career this could pose a problem because they have no idea the problems middle and low class families face.

Firstly, imagine a world without public schools. Or even any service funded by tax. You would have a brutally split society. One part illiterate with no understanding of how to take care of themselves which would most likely lead to a lower life expectancy of that group, the other educated and superior because they have money. Without public schools, the pool of educated and talented minds would depend solely on wealth. Millions of brilliant minds and talents would be lost due to neglect to nurture equally. Also all the luxuries that those who can afford private school would most likely be scarce because it takes more than private educated rich kids to make society work, in fact without the public sector being educated properly the rich would cease to be eventually as they would have no one capable of providing the vital services on which their money is used.

This is purely based on the affect without public schools, however I will also look at the advantages specifically given from public schools. With public school education, you are likely to develop greater social skills and also live a fuller and more enjoyable life. Life isn’t about all the good things that come easy, it’s about experiencing the good and the bad, being mixed with the good and the bad and building yourself based on your experiences.

You can tell a lot of the politicians who come directly from private education don’t have a clue on the problems of the middle and lower class. Which are in fact the majority. You end up with a country or society ran by the rich for the rich, as they only care about THEIR money and THEIR problems. They don’t understand or comprehend the issues that happen in the real world, which public school sure as hell does not hide. And which I believe private school would most likely be the cause of the ignorance held by those who don’t hold value for their fellow human beings who aren’t as well off.

It’s easy to live in paradise and shun those who don’t. But that’s greed, selfishness and ignorance. Things I consider to be detrimental to society and conclude by saying public schools are without a question vital and better for society than private schools.

Public schools are the backbone of any society. Private schools provide excellent standards and social ladders for those who can afford it, but overall the symptoms of a healthy economy and country is its public education system. While some parents can afford to send their children to a private schools many of them are lacking an important aspect in today’s society, diversity. Not just skin tone but in intellectual abilities. We are suffering from a fundamental flaw in our public education system that provides many proponents of private or charter schools with potent ammunition. That said the benefits of public schools are enormous. The potential to bring together any number of young students no matter his or her social standing or lifestyle is paramount. Public schools build a public trust and are interested in the characteristics of individual students and their certain situations.

While private institutions focus on their bottom line and profitability, public schools emphasize the student’s true potential. I have indicated the ground work for the public school system, but I am afraid we are lacking many of the key ingredients to make the public benefits mesh. There is optimism for the future in our public education system, mainly ending the trend of separating low achieving students from those scoring high on standardized tests and in the classroom.

This is a big difference between private and public schools, private schools tend to weed out lower achieving students, without trying to remedy or figure out their problems. Education should focus on the person not the amount of money they have or the grades they have previously attained. People change and exploration is the key to unlocking these minds and public institutions are the best route.

By Rose Mukay

 

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