I have a very serious question for you: What is the difference between falling from a building in Baguio and falling from a building in Makati?
When you fall from a building in Baguio, considering the limited number of floors, it would go like this: “BOG! Ahhhhh!!!” But in Makati, considering those tall towers, it would go like this, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! BOG!”
But seriously, what do you do when you fall? What do you do when you are rejected? What do you do when you make a mistake?
In my journey of learning from wise men and women, I have realized that when you fall, you can do some things to help you make it through. Today, let me share with you three things:
First, cry. When we fall, get rejected or make mistakes, it hurts! In fact, that’s the similarity between the two scenarios of falling – they both hurt! And it is just normal to cry.
Prof. Cary Cooper, a stress expert from Lancaster University said, “Crying is a physiological response – it’s an in-built reaction to hurt, emotional or physical. It is a release and helps us feel physically better towards pain. So on basic level, it makes us feel good, which is why we should never suppress a cry.”
He added, “Crying can also be good for us – psychologically – it helps us take a step back and process what is wrong in our life. Crying is a wake-up call that our relationship, or job, or whatever, is causing us to feel upset, is not working for us and requires change.”
Thus, to cry is to catalyze the necessary change in our life at that particular moment. It helps us get over the hurt!
A study from the University of Minessota, USA, found that crying improves the mood of 88.8% of people and it can also help with healing, boosting immunity and reducing levels of anger and stress.
According to Prof. William Frey, who conducted the study, “We feel better after crying because we are literally crying it out. Chemicals that build up during emotional stress may be removed in our tears when we cry.”
My mentor often says, “Feel your feelings. Your emotions are your friends.” Indeed, feelings are friends. Hence, cry out loud if you need to. Cry with tears if that’s what you need. Cry silently if that’s your type. It is healthy to cry out your emotions.
Even Taylor Swift agrees. She said, “If somebody hurts you, it’s okay to cry a river, just remember to build a bridge and get over it.” So there goes the other criterion: your crying is healthy up to a certain point. It has to end as well so you can build a bridge and get over it.
Second, thank. Gratitude has magic. Gratitude is power.
Dr. Robert Emmons, the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude said, “A decade’s worth of research on gratitude has shown me that when life is going well, gratitude allows us to celebrate and magnify the goodness. But what about when life goes badly?…My response is that not only will a grateful attitude help – it is essential. In fact, it is precisely under crisis conditions when we have the most to gain by a grateful perspective on life. In the face of demoralization, gratitude has the power to energize. In the face of brokenness, gratitude has the power to heal. In the face of despair, gratitude has the power to bring hope. In other words, gratitude can help us cope with hard times.”
He explained it well but even without reading his words, you know from experience what gratitude does. Look back into your life and see those difficult times you have gone through. You will realize you have a lot of things to thank for.
Third, pause. To be able to cry and say thank you – you need to pause. And to be able to get something from the two – you need to pause. You just have to let it end. Reflect on it. Learn from it. And move on.
These three are magical moves that you can apply in life. Experts support it. Experiences have proven it. So when you fall, you know what to do to bounce back. It’s okay to cry. It’s a must to thank. And you’ve got to pause.
(Chris Dao-anis is giving away a free e-version of his book ‘Move Closer To Your Dream Today.’ Get your copy at www.chrispoweracademy.com.)
