Almost all, sans a few, have tasted or used something placed in a bottle. Quien sabe? (Who knows?).
Bottles, to say the least, will forever be with us in our homes, unless of course, man will discover another alternative to it.
But, ever heard a story coming straight from the mouth a wine bottle? No, nevah in your life, you say? Could you be missing something then?
Let’s concentrate on one kind of bottle, to appreciate such an amenity, for there are thousand kinds of bottles, and examine the wine bottle by listening to what it says.
Many highlanders in Cordillera Administrative Region (CAR) and lowlanders in Region 1 often tip a wine bottle, pour its contents into a glass cup and drink that precious liquid content.
These drinkers fail to realize, however, that a wine bottle has feelings, too, and stories to tell.
A wine bottle starts by saying that it’s not always its situation to be a body without a wine or spirit, if you will, since wine is often termed a spirit.
Although a wine bottle is often thrown aside as useless, after its contents consumes, in many cases, it’s often resuscitated, passing into some usefulness – other than just being a wine container.
Many wine bottles come in various shapes filled with all kinds of wine to give unusual pleasure to hordes of drinkers Some wine bottles are manufactured to look drab-looking, dull, square, roundish to the more finely made bottles that are sleek, sexy and curvaceous in appearance.
And wine bottles come in various colors. In short, wine bottles resonate in all sorts of sizes and forms.
Sexy and curvaceous-looking wine bottles forces one to remember an incident a time in Region 1, about lawyering.
Before relating the incident, bear in mind that there is, perhaps, no class of men more celebrated for their ready wit than the “Gentlemen (or Gentlewomen) of the Bar,” and some collections of their Sayings without their Doings would afford us amusing an odd volume to lovers of whimsicalities as any on record. We show one, as befitting, for instance about a ticklish case:
A lawyer, a celebrated jokester and one who appreciates fine wine, was pleading before a Judge. Happening to have a sexy and curvaceous female client by the name of Tickle, the lawyer commenced his speech in the flowing strain, “Tickle, my client, the defendant, Your Honor. . . “
Courtroom onlookers, amused with the oddity of the lawyer’s opening speech, erupted into guffaws when the Judge (also known for ready humor) interrupted the lawyer and replied, “Tickle her yourself, defense. You are as able as I.”
Back to wine bottles. Wine bottles can claim privilege of having poetical taste, because, like the flowers, they were “blown into existence” in our world. And rightly so. Since literally speaking, when one creates a bottle, a bottle-maker blows into a pipe to shape the bottle.
Wine bottles narrate they come into our world possessing rather a long neck, a thick bottom and an unalterable strait stomach capable of retaining “many drops of comfort.”
By the busy chorus of thousands, nay, millions of Filipinos of “wine, wine, more wine,” these wine bottles are filled, corked down or capped and laid on the side to age in cellars.
And while the liquid age aging, these wine bottles can clearly hear the producers of wine in the cellars chatting and drinking.
Wine aging, according to wine bottles, is compared to an old coin. The older it gets; it improves. The same is true with mortals.
Wine bottles also say there are some people who refuse to believe they are getting old, and swear they are merely marinating.
While some people are like wine; they get better with age, wine bottles say.
Any connoisseur of wine knows the older a wine is, the finer it tastes and wine bottles are main ingredients to wine-aging.
So that when the day comes a wine bottle is opened, these stay in the company of the like kindred, to lift up the spirits of the imbiber, or to wax philosophical in the way they talk.
Waxing philosophical while with friends and sipping wine happened just this Chinese New Year, as a wine bottle relate it.
A wine bottle heard a Chinese friend, who happened to become poetic after sipping wine, how he amusingly regaled his Filipino friends on matter of nicknames.
He suggested, for instance, that those born at night should be nicknamed “Andy Lim,” born on a Sunday, “Lyn Go,” born with sweets, “Ken Dy,” born secretly, “Tina Go,” born normal, “Nating Wong,” born choosy, “Ma Pea Lee,” and, born on merienda time, “Sio May.”
Many a time wine bottles have been witness to caprices of wine drinkers. Here’s a complaint of one wine drinker who believes that drinking a cup of milk every day gives one strength.
Gapu na nga inaldaw, aginum isuna it gatas. Adda la problema. Madi met isu pumigsa ta di na kabaelan nga agbagkat iti nadagsen nga bato. Ngem, nu nag-inom isuna ti arak, makita na diay bato nga aggaraw.
To be specific in detail, wine bottles tell their other experiences after their contents are drank. Often, they are sold to bottle merchants, used for many purposes, or simply discarded as litter.
In ending their little stories wine bottles say, let it be remembered, their liquid content, will be for the use, and not abuse, of the living.
Wine bottles ruefully admit they unconsciously contributed, to hasten the ruin of many, as one wine bottle heard from a priest:
Long ago, a priest delivered a sermon drunkenness and painted in strongest colors, the evils of over-indulgence.
He said, “Abuse of wine does not exclude its use. For it is written that wine rejoices hearts of men. Barbarenk nu awan ditoy nga congregasyon ti maysa nga nu uminom iti maysa bote nga arak ket di na mapukaw ti nasayaat nga kapanunutan na.
Wine bottle translates: Hopefully, there isn’t anybody in this congregation who can drink one bottle of wine without losing his proper senses.
Priest went on. “Ngem nu adda maysa ditoy nga nu maka-inom ti duwa a bote ti arak ket malipatan na ti nasayaat ket ag-abuso wenno kabusor na ti ga-gayem na, makonsensya koma, tapno iti masakbayan, ammo na nga isardeng ura mismo nu maibusna ti maysa bote ti arak.”
Wine bottle translates: But if there’s any here who drinks two bottles of wine and so forgets himself as to abuse others or make enemies of his friends, let him look into his conscience and, in the future, always to stop at one bottle.
Priest persisted, “Ngem nu maka-ibus iti duwa nga bote ket kabaelan na met nga mang-ayat iti ka-aruba na ta kibingin na pay isuda, ken papatyen na ti kuna ni padi, ay pirme, palubusan tayo nga agsip-sip ti arak.”
Wine bottle translates: Yet, if after drinking two bottles and can still take his Christian neighbors lovingly by the hand, and obey the orders of his spiritual and temporal superiors, well, by all means, let him take his modest drink.
Priest ended, saying, “Alwadan yu kuma nga saan ag-inom sobra. Ngamin, ti man-mano nga ited ti pagsayaatan ti luwalo nga mangibos ti duwa nga botilya ti arak, nga kasla inted para la kenyak, ket uray kasta, saan ko baybay-an ti trabaho wenno makapungtut nak.”
Wine bottle translates: He must be careful however, not to take anymore. For seldom it is that Providence gives anybody special grace to drink two bottles at one sitting, as it has enabled me, your unworthy servant, to do so, without either neglecting my duties by… taking, or losing my temper.