So it came to pass last week when a group of teenagers, adults and elders (around 260 tribal members) from poblacion La Trinidad and other outlying areas, sat with Ah Kong, to map a joint plan on pursuing a home technology to generate additional income for them.
Their plan was required by an international funding entity for review, amendment, before funding.
Finalizing their plan, Ah decided to wrap up the meeting, looking forwards for home and slurping a cup of agua de pataranta, when an elderly gentleman among the group rose from his seat and said:
“Ay, anak nga Bony, tatta ta nalpas tayo diyay gapu ti naurnungan tayo, (then he switched to English) spare us one hour more to stay and give us your stand and personal opinion about autonomy, I mean from you view as a daily laborer, like we are, and not from the view of a political leader.”
Ah was completely taken aback by the elderly’s request. He sensed the elderly was well-educated, probably retired from work, and was maybe testing the fool Ah.
The gentleman’s request was met with approval by the group, members, who voiced out, “yes,” and wanted to know what’s on Ah’s mind about CAR’s autonomy pursuit.
He knew less where to start. It will, doubtless appear strange, to the erudite readers that an unenlightened and insignificant individual like Ah – a creature emanating from smoke and fog – should endeavor to enlighten a well-informed group about autonomy.
He breathed deeply, musing silently for minutes and said, “I’ll talk about autonomy if you answer one question.”
“And what is that?” the gentleman spoke for the group.
Ah cleared his throat and said, “Do all of you love Cordillera Administrative Region?
His question was met with nods and giggles, words like, “Ket wen met ah, ay-ayaten mi ti CAR, anya dayta a saludsud. Ditoy ti naiyanakan mi, ditoy kami a dinmakkel; ditoy kami a matay! Alangan met a apan mi kayaten ti sabali a rehion!”
Aha! Now Ah found an opening he was looking for, after grappling on how he’d start on the subject.
He said, “Nanang, tatang, kakabsat ko, you ask about my stand. I am completely for autonomy for CAR and hope for the day when CAR will be autonomous.”
“Let me expound it the way you said you love CAR as daily working mortals, as I, too, as well, love our region.”
“Love of our region is one of the most splendid sentiments which raises and dignify the Cordilleran heart, covering, as with an ample cloak against many of its problems as well as frailties of our co-Cordillerans.”
“It’s love for CAR that we must embrace the right condition of self-government that will enable the region to sculpt or fashion its development programs and needs suited to our indigenous structures that will benefit the Cordilleran masses of the present and future generations.”
“It’s love for CAR we embrace the right condition of self-government that will provide answering appropriately our regional needs, thereby not depending wholly, but in fact strengthening, national government priorities that are cascaded to all regions, hence, helping national government as well.”
“It’s love for CAR we embrace autonomy so we stand on equal footing with other regions and be close friends and confidants in cooperation with their inhabitants. And not even the devil can rend asunder such friendship and cooperation.”
“On such friendship and confidants in cooperation because of autonomous relationship, I tell a story of two friends, a Cordilleran and an Ilokano:”
Saan yu sa ammo nga ni satanas ket pirme but-buteng kadagiti lallaki a taga Cordillera ken Region 1. Apay kuna yu?
Adda ngamin duwa nga aggayyem, Cordilleran ken taga Region 1 nga, idi nalpas da nagpatungpal iti information campaign panggep autonomia, napan da nag-inom ta maik-kat bannog da, engga nabartek da sadatu paawid. Panggep kenna bartek da, dida naiwasan ket nadungpar ti lugan isuda.
Daksanggassat pimmusay da.
Idi sumaklang idiay langit, kuna ni San Pedro, “ladingetek, saan ko mapasrek dakayo iti langit.”
Isu, inbaon ni San Pedro diyay duwa nga aggayyem idiay impierno.
Ket inawat ni satanas ida.
Gapu ta nabartek da pay laeng, nag-kinnidyat da a duwa, nag-innapir da, ken nag-give me five da pay.
Kuna diyay taga Region 1 kenni gayyem na a Cordilleran, “Pare, kitam, iti sangu ta, pulutan.” Sungbat diyay Cordilleran, “Ay wen!” Ti panagkita da ken satanas ket kalding, gapu diyay ipus ken sara na. Kinamat da ni satanas.
Pirme buteng nga kinmaripas tinmaray ni satanas nga agpukpuk-kaw a kunana, “Salamabi…@*^%+! **60%^=,!!! Awan paspasrekek nga Cordilleran wenno taga Region 1 ditoy impierno, aglalalo dagiti mangipatpatungpal ti autonomia!!!”
Conclusion: In ader words, those advocating for autonomy aren’t accepted in hell. Those advocating otherwise, well, mebbeso we can talk about the matter one evening under the pale gloom of a drunken moon, including us, eh?
Ah continued his talk: “Kailyan a Cordilleran, I do not assume of being able to throw much new light upon the subject, autonomy, a subject which has been so industriously and ably handled by our political leaders.”
Ah paused, and continued, “I veer a bit from the topic and give example of how a subject can be so industriously and ably handled. One day a sexy lady entered a pet shop and told the shop owner:”
Sexy: Agbirbirok nak ti gatangek a parrot.
Pet shop owner: Adda duwa a parrot a lako. Diya maysa nalaing mangsurot ti kuna ti tao, diyay maikadwa, nalaing agpanunot.
Sexy: Kayat ko diyay nalaing agpanunot.
Inala diyay shop owner diyay nalaing agpanunot a parrot tapno matesting ni sexy.
Sexy: Hi, Anya itsurak?
Parrot: Kasla prostitute itsuram!
Sexy: Bastos! Saan ko kayat gatangen dayta a parrot!
Inala ni shop owner diyay parrot, napan idiay likod ti shop, inlublub diyay ulo ti parrot idiay danum a nakatimba, sana kuna, “Oy, tarimnem ti panagsarsaritam nu saan ipalmes ko sikan.” Insubli na diyay parrot ket nagsaludsud manen ni sexy.
Sexy: Nu agawid nak ti teng-nga ti rabii nga adda kadwak nga lalaki, anya tawag mo kenyana?
Parrot: Asawam.
Sexy: Good! Nu ngay duwa a lalaki ti kadwak agawid ti teng-nga ti rabii. Anya makunam?
Parrot: Ni asawam ken kabsat ni asawam.
Sexy: Very good. Nu ngay tallo a lallaki ti kadwak agawid ti teng-nga ti rabii?
Parrot: Ni asawam, ni kabsat na ken ni kasinsin da.
Sexy: Very very good, talaga nalaing ka. Nu ngay uppat wenno lima nga lallaki ti kadwak agawid ti teng-nga ti rabii, anya kunam?
Parrot: Kinita na diyay akin bagi ti pet shop sana a kuna, “Boss, uray ilublub nak. Kunak ngamin di damo, prostitute daytoy, eh.
“Dat, my group friends,” Ah paused by coughing, and continuing, “is a mere example of how even a lower form of living creature has industriously and ably handled a subject.”
Ah emphasized, “Let it be said that the science of government is one which has occupied the attention of the best minds, by our political leaders, the National Economic and Development Authority (NEDA), Local Government Units, (LGUs), the academe, other professionals, necessary for the guidance of the Cordilleran masses.”
“I therefore say that the true end of autonomy is, or ought, to be the welfare of the governed, that is of and for the Cordilleran people and best fitted by popular choice and voice.”
“I end by recalling about a political event by popular voice.”
Konsehal: Emcee, paki-acknowledge si mayor. Late dumating. Hayun karara-an lang.
Pedro (Emcee): I would like to acknowledge the late mayor who just passed away.
“That,” said Ah by ending his talk, “my friends, can be example of popular voice.”
