(To Daily Laborer Column readers: I beg for your indulgence for this issue as I momentarily veer from humor to express recollection of my godson, Edwin Besoy, who passed away and comfort Sunny, my goddaughter and their children, Ivy, Philrose, Hazel, Blair, as well as their next of kin and his friends.)
It was ten years or more, ago, when I came to know Edwin , from barangay Supang, Sabangan, Mountain Province, when he courted Sunny Likigan, then enrolled with the Department of Health – Cordillera Administrative Region (DOH-CAR) under the Special Program for Employment of Students (SPES).
Back then, I was DOH-CAR’s Public Information Officer (PIO) at the same time DOH-CAR’s Regional Youth Coordinator and it rested on me to oversee DOH-CAR’s SPES. Sunny was one of the hundreds of youth I guided through at DOH-CAR.
I witnessed how their friendship blossomed, until they decided to tie the knot and requested me to be their godfather during their marriage vow. I happily consented.
Their union bore them four children. Through thick and thin, or for better or worse, if you may want to put it that way, Edwin and Sunny steered their family ship with Edwin at the helm. I said to myself, so far, so good.
As time stretched between us, we saw each other on occasions. One attribute of Edwin that stood out among the crowd was his cheery disposition and disarming smile even when burdened with a load.
He won’t allow any problem get in the way and distract him from seeing the world in his own right of idealism.
Edwin was a man who spoke his mind, and often valued the understatement, perhaps seeing it as an antidote to problems encountered.
In conversations, he would quietly unfold his narrative, and then wait with a patience to see if the listener had apprehended the subtle humor lurking within the harmless snare of his words.
The last time I saw Edwin was February this year. I never heard him complain about anything to me. And that’s what completely baffles me until now.
On the evening of April 7, I was informed Edwin, in his forties, passed away. As his wife Sunny fought back her tears, Edwin fought for his life, a battle he lost against health complication.
Edwin has passed away too soon. With his going, one realizes too well how human life is robbed by loss, in one form or another, at one time or another.
How well I understand the grief of Sunny and her children, and how grief when it comes, unbalances them. I understand how they plead that if only it could be, for their daddy to come back to them, even as a shadow, even as a dream.
We know it is impossibility, but cannot help ourselves. When a loved one is gone, one feels emptiness in the soul. And I, his family and relatives will find ourselves searching for that familiar face in a crowd.
Consolation for my goddaughter, Sunny and her children is an immensely difficult aspect and one of the most generous human gestures, because grief, when it comes, is nothing like what we expect it to be.
I honestly believe that God saw the road for Edwin getting rough and the mountains harder to climb and so God said, “Edwin, peace is thine.” And God, in his infinite wisdom, would be waiting when Edwin sails into the wild blue yonder and crosses over to the streets of Heaven.
The restlessness of realizing having lost a godson shatters me, that death can leave heartache no one can really mend over time.
As their godfather, it was an opportunity and a privilege having Edwin as my godson, even for a little space in time, and a memory to keep.
I strongly believe that Edwin wants his wife, children, his mother, his brothers and other relatives to know that all things soft, beautiful and bright was never buried with him, really. Maybe his song has ended but his melody lingers.
When someone becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure, and I say to Sunny and her children their daddy just went away, leaving us dreaming how very fair, for Edwin abides in our hearts.
We will remember Edwin in silence, with smiles on our faces and heartaches hidden. Vibrantly pleasant in manner, his cheery ways and smiling face are pleasures to recall.
I believe Edwin wants Sunny and their children that his memory be a happy one and an afterglow of smiles for them at the end of any day.
There’s this lingering thought that Edwin is praying the tears of his wife and his children will dry before the sun and his memory becomes their courage every sunrise and sunset.
After all, Edwin will forever be their echo, whispering softly, ever softly down their ways, of bright and sunny days, of happy and laughing times.
Grief is the price for loving somebody. Yet we find comfort in knowing our lives have been enriched by Edwin with his irrevocably gladsome character.
For Ivy, Philrose, Hazel and Blair, you’ve said farewell to your Daddy with tears, but your tears have wisdom of their own, for your tears for your father water your growth. Cry, if you must.
For my goddaughter, Sunny, as you cry for your loved one Edwin, cry until you can cry no more, for in your cry, you will find a hope. A hope to move on. For Edwin lives on in you and your children.
